For Denise and Louisa with Love

Why Didn’t Tommy Vitale –
Richardson show up that night?

Written by Denise Richardson with the assistance of BettyJean Kling originally published by Denise Richardson to Free Us Now Weblog at 10:21:42 PM 2/21/2009 on 10:21:42 PM 2/21/2009. It was her
dying wish that her story be told and Dedicated to Louisa Richardson- Rodas. Denise Passed March 7 2009 so I have rededicated to both my beautiful daughters: Denise Richardson and Louisa Richardson-Rodas

We believe violence against women is a "Hate Crime", It seems women are conditioned to think love should hurt -we are reminded of an old song that makes being hurt sound so romantic and acceptable- WELL IT'S NOT! We aim to drive home the point that any and all mistreatment of women is wrong. You should never hurt anyone you love in any way not in word or deed.

You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it till the petals fall
You always brea-eak the kindest hear-eart
With a hasty word you can't recall, so
If I broke your heart la-ast night
It's because I love you most of all

This is our story- it's not pretty and it's not romantic and it sure is not acceptable - it's not love - it is hate! Denise is terminal -this is written in the quick for that reason, I promised my eldest daughter that I would help her tell her story! That I would help her explain why she stayed in an abusive relationship and why it is so hard for women to get out. It is a complicated issue. Denise carries the burden of her sister's condition; not only
because her husband shot Louisa in the face but because Louisa was there caring for Denise. Also she is being blamed by both Frank and Tommy who carried that blame to her son and made him feel ashamed for what his step-father did to Louisa too.
Between the fear of the abuser not only for oneself but for one's children and for one's family, and the blame that always falls on the women because as you will see by looking at our story - it is always the woman's fault. Denise and I think - it's more than that- we think the laws need to change to help women to enable them to help themselves and to get help when they need it. We need to change the laws- and the way the society looks at and treats women and violence against women.
In Denise's case, she found George- she kept him- she got him mad- her mother irritated him. Well it's always something. If you ever throw into the mix that a man say a brother Tommy or some other man in the family Frank entertained or argued with him - it will be passed off as nothing or as passing the blame but it is always easy to fix the blame on any and all females that are conveniently around to dump it on. We also decided to share what we know about Louisa's case.
The abuse, the anxiety she suffered from a husband who could not stop drinking or spending. He didn't beat her - he just beat her out of dignity- Louisa had to have her bills paid by her family. She needed her mother to set her up in a decent home and subsidize the rent and help with the utilities and give her a car or she would have nothing. She was desperate to stand on her own but Frank spent them into debt over and over again forcing her to beg and borrow from everyone. She turned to family with middle of the night phone calls and God and several prayer and women groups online to find solace. I have found diary entries that confirm what she confided to Denise and I about the anxiety Frank's behavior caused her.
In my case- A mother does not choose to fall in love with a son - she just loves him from birth unconditionally. She hopes he does not become addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling and porno but if he does and then also he turns out to be abusive her only recourse is to avoid him at all costs.
I am going to give you a narrative from Denise's and my perspective we hope to show that women are not respected and are often used as a convenient scapegoat. The laws do not sufficiently protect them, society does not support them and men do not respect them. Often they wind up victims of their own doing out of lack
of self respect - fear to self advocate and because speaking out always gets them blamed in the end. We are supposed to be good little girls - be quiet- don't start trouble- grin and bear it - take whatever is dished out - it's always our fault. Well fine- we got nothing left to loose and that's a real bad place to put us- with nothing left to lose we can sing like birds, and sing we will. We intend to tell the truth as we know it and let the chips fall where they may.
As I have written previously. The truth is uncomfortable but if we are ever going to change things - we are going to have to look at the truth - face it and do something about it! Too often we like to hide in our neat little homes with our own dirty little secrets and pretend these things do not happen to good clean people- well they do and I am here to tell you that blaming the victims will not stop it.

BettyJean and Denise ask these questions over and over and over again.

" Why didn't Tommy, Shelly or Frank inform Louisa's sons, mother, father, sister or grandparents of the life
threatening emergency she faced on 2/20/09 when she was rushed to the emergency room at HUMC? I had to hear it from a neighbor who happened to be the sister of an ER nurse.
" Why is Louisa being deprived of the love of her entire family in these emergency situations?
" Why do Frank and Tommy want to blame me?
" Why does Tommy keep threatening me saying "I am going to get you"?
" Why did Tommy sneak into the hospital when he knew I would be there alone in order to claim I medically treated Louisa in ways for which there were no witnesses?
" Why did Tommy come to the hospital during my scheduled visiting time and set-up a security guard out in the hall then provoke me to lash out at him?
" Why is Tommy Vitale- Richardson blaming me for the Louisa Richardson- Rodas shooting?
" Why are Tommy Vitale- Richardson and Frank Rodas blaming Denise for the Louisa Richardson- Rodas shooting?
" Why is Tommy Vitale -Richardson controlling who visits Louisa to the extent that if Denise or the grandparents want o see her they have to go thru him to do it?
" Why can't I visit my daughter Louisa - to love and comfort her and keep her company during scheduled visitation times when she is all alone?
" Why is Louisa being deprived of the loving arms and voices of her entire family and hours of visitation that could comfort her lonely hours?
" Why are Tommy and Frank claiming a poor relationship existed when a very close relationship existed not to mention she gave me her son to raise?
" Why do Denise and I have e-mail proof that Tommy and Frank were causing her such extreme anxiety attacks that caused her not only to call us at all hours of the night but to turn to the internet and strangers on women's and religious groups such as God Tube for help?

The story you are about to read is the truth to the best of our knowledge as Denise and I know it. It's not a hit job - not revenge - it's just our story as we know it. As strong as I thought I was I find myself a victim of the abuse of my son Tommy because of his influence over Frank (they drink together), it must stop. I stopped writing anything about Louisa and they drummed up other false allegations and tried to set me up elsewhere. We cannot allow ourselves to be held hostage - to be afraid to be home alone with a sick daughter- to visit
another sick daughter, to leave the house alone - to stay home alone - to speak up - or to admit the truth as we know it. We cannot be afraid to be graphic- we cannot be told to shut-up and we cannot allow ourselves to bargain away one daughter for another daughter or our freedom of speech. The truth must be told- the following story is a series of hate crimes against the three of us from three of our own men and why we need laws to prevent these hate crimes against women.
It is a story about why the abuse of women should be considered a hate crime. Why there should be zero tolerance for the ill treatment of women be it from their husbands- their fathers - their brothers - their sons or sons-in law as indeed what else can you call the mistreatment of a women by a man who supposedly loves and respects her?. What else can you call it but hate to treat any human being the way we three have been treated?
George Hartwig-- Bergen Co Jail Hackensack, NJ- A husband who beats his wife in the head with a hammer and it is not charged as attempted murder. He plea bargains and gets out and shoots his sister-in-law in the face with a shotgun.
Frank Rodas -2nd Floor rear apartment -Elizabeth, NJ -A son-in-law who can deny a women visitation to her daughter because he is under some false impression or is just plain mad at his mother-in-law.
Tommy Vitale-Richardson -- Lodi, NJ -A son who threatens, stalks and terrorize his mother, then plots to have her banned from visiting her own daughter in the hospital. A brother who neglects his dying sister for months then devises a plan to use her to control his mother and grandparents after losing access to his grandparent's home having been found ransacking through his mothers personal property.
Women are mistreated on a daily basis with cruel jokes, snide remarks and treated as second class citizens. They are threatened then beaten and the abuser is slapped on the wrist until a she or a family member is finally shot, dismembered or beheaded and then maybe it makes the news for a day or two. Our story is only one of a million but our story will not be silenced because I just will not stop telling it! I am the mother of abused women and I am sick and tired of not being heard. I have a dying daughter and a very badly injured daughter who will never be whole again and we three have been victims of abuse from men that we love and should have been able to trust. ENOUGH! Free US Now.
On June 16th 2008, George Hartwig attacked my elder daughter, a sleeping woman dying of cancer, with a hammer to her skull in order to get her pain drugs. He spent three months in jail, then pled guilty to a lesser charge and was released on his own recognizance. Less than six months after the hammer assault, on
December 15, 2008, my youngest daughter's brains lay splattered on the living room wall.
Denise Richardson is battling for her life, suffering the late stages of ovarian cancer. She has been an emotionally battered wife for 23 years. In 1993, George was arrested after threatening Denise with a gun in their home; he was violating a restraining order to stay away from her. We have now learned she was also
physically abused and the life of her family threatened on several occasions. Her husband has always been loose cannon, a weird character. No one crossed his path without consequences, for which we knew Denise would ultimately pay with hours of whining and screaming and heartache she didn't need. What we were not sure of were the consequences to the family that Denise was avoiding by staying with him. On several occasions, George threatened to blow my brains out for interfering in his treatment of my daughter, yet I never failed to confront him if he mistreated her or my grandson. Denise never told me about physical altercations, but I certainly suspected them. Finally there was no hiding the staples in the bald head of her 88 lb. frame when she could not keep me from visiting her last summer after the hammer assault. George had finally done something so despicable, and she was so helpless, that she had to accept family assistance while he was incarcerated. It was at this point that we found out that George had threatened to kill her and her son Christopher if she ever tried to get rid of him. She also said on occasion, he would threaten to wipe out the whole damned family. She believed he would, and tolerated the abuse to protect the family.
George was picked up and arrested. Denise was not informed of the charges at the time, but we wonder why he was not charged with:
1. Threat to Kill
2. Attempted Murder
3. Aggravated Assault
4. Theft
5. Possession of controlled substances
6. Drug abuse
7. Auto theft
8. Driving under the influence
After his arrest, George immediately began calling Denise -- as do most abusers with their victims -- asking for her help and intervention. He was being offered a plea bargain if he pleaded guilty to a lesser felony. He managed to convince her that there were programs and that if she could get him into one, they could fix him and he would be a better husband and she would not have to die alone and leave her son alone. Denise believed he was mentally ill and drug addicted; she had spent years trying to get him into programs, to no avail.
Denise began a campaign to ensure that if he were released in 90 days -- as she knew he would be -- that there would be a place for him to go, because this time she would not allow George back into the house. No, not this time! As sick as she was, she did all she could to see that when he plea bargained down he would at least have somewhere else to go. But the courts let her down 90 days later: he pleads guilty to a lesser charge and they just turned him loose on the streets.
After all the promises for mental health help and a live-in program, they just turned him loose and Denise had two choices. Take her husband in, or pay for him to live somewhere else. Well, she did have a third choice: she could ignore him and wait for him to break in and kill her! She chose to put him up elsewhere and hope to just die before he killed her.
In November Denise's health deteriorated to such a degree that she needed round the clock care so I moved in with her. At that time I learned that my son Tommy Richardson, who had agreed to relieve me one night a week, previously had allowed George Hartwig to visit Denise at the house by appointment. I was told
George did not have a key and Tommy had to unlock the door to allow him entrance. I also learned that Tommy had entertained George for a three hour visitation just the week before while I was out and I did not want George anywhere near Denise in her very weakened condition.
On December 14, 2008, I spoke with Tommy regarding this problem. I asked him not to unlock the door for George the next evening in my absence (he was scheduled to be with Denise on December 15 until I returned from New York City). Tommy assured me he did not want George there but was too afraid to confront him.
Tommy is a little fella, 5'6, and George is a big brute of a man, Tommy asked me to get rid of George and refused to come care for Denise unless I intervened on his behalf. I assured him that I would and I got that opportunity.
On December 15, at about 10 am, George called asking Denise for a receipt he insisted he urgently needed. Denise requested that I allow him entrance to get the receipt. My grandson had to unlock the door; I guarded Denise and her medication. Once inside, George immediately began ransacking the entire house and then verbally abusing Denise. I soon realized this was a not a good idea and asked him to leave.
We argued and it escalated. I threatened to call the police. He reminded me that this was his house and his wife, and a call to the police would have me evicted and leave her alone without my help. He threatened my head as usual. I did not call the police, and we argued until he stormed out. He later called Denise and said he found the receipt. I thought he had calmed down based on that call - apparently he had not!
I left Denise's house as planned at 3 PM. My grandson Marc and a friend were there all day with Denise and me, and they were there when I left. I called at 4:30pm to see how things were going. Marc was watching movies with Denise, and the friend had gone to work. At 6 PM, my daughter Louisa arrived and Tommy was expected soon. Marc was scheduled to be relieved by Tommy and I had tickets in the city for 7 PM.
Denise, heavily sedated, was sleeping. Louisa, who is nearly deaf, was working on the far end of the couch in the dark on her computer. Tommy never showed up he just decided not to come over and instead convinced Marc, who had been there 10 hours already, to drive over to his place and play video games for a while.
The house was dark- my car was not there, Tommy's car was not there. Two defenseless women were there! George broke in Denise didn't hear - Louisa couldn't hear. By the time anyone heard anything it was too late! Suddenly, George appeared gun in hand, Louisa got off a 911 text to her son Marc and dialed Tommy for help before George blew her face off with a shotgun. By the time Tommy answered - the phone lay on the floor -- Louisa had lost her right eye, and most of the right side of her head, skull and brain tissue.
Then I got an accusatory cell phone call - screaming - asking "where the ^#/*#\*^ are you?"
Denise had to pry the phone from you Tommy, while you were screaming obscenities at me into the phone, describing how Louisa had been shot in the face and how her brains were blown all over the wall. I fell to the ground, screaming for help in the streets of Manhattan. Friends had to retrieve the phone and were trying to decipher the message.
Everyone knew where I was. I made arrangements many days before I left. Those I was with, others in my family, everyone knew who I had left in charge. Tommy, you were my arrangement to care for my daughters. The same arrangement as the week before only this time you were not to entertain George for 3 hours in my
absence -- again. The question is: Where were you, Tommy? Were you home playing those shoot 'em up, half-naked girl video games you spend hours with instead of protecting your sisters? Is that why you are now holding your baby sister hostage and trying to take away my First Amendment rights in return for
visitation rights? Well, it won't work. She will soon be well and ask to see me for herself. God willing.

But instead everyone will know where you were that night and that you are so desperately trying to keep me from revealing that that I left you in charge of your sisters and that you neglected to show up! I realize now that you were not man enough to stand up to George yourself, that you asked me - your mother fight
your battle for you and then in fear you left two defenseless women to face the music if he returned, full well knowing he might! Well he did Tommy and you knew they would be there alone - I didn't- I thought their brother would be there!
And WE ask these questions over and over and over again;
• Why did you leave Denise and Louisa alone that night?
• Why did you call me asking where I was – you knew where I was?
• Why did you accuse me of being to blame when it was you who failed to keep
George out all those months in the first place?
• Why did you insist that I put George out and then refuse to be there if he
came back angry?
• What kind of son are you?
• What kind of uncles are you both to lay a burden on Denise’s son for his
step-father’s horrible deeds to Louisa?
• What kind of brother are you?
• Why do you keep asking Louisa if she is as strong as her big brother? Every
time I heard you ask her that I cringed and wanted to answer that for her- She
faced George you little coward!
• Why are you using Louisa as a bargaining chip and now trying to add Denise to
the picture after ignoring her for months?
• Why didn’t you once visit Denise during the times I was with Louisa for the
six weeks at the hospital - you were upstairs in the same house- while she was
alone in the basement?
• Why are you now asking my parents to retract a written order issued after you
ransacked my personal belongings while pretending to visit Denise?
• Why are you now urging my parents to ask me to leave the safety of their home
to visit Denise – who clearly states she does not want to see you now or ever
again?
• Does Frank know that you started this trouble between him and me so that he
might never find out that it was you that left his wife a sitting duck for
George that night?
BettyJean and Denise urge all women to speak out - do not be afraid of anyone - do not back down - tell the truth as you know it- no matter how crazy it sounds. Men who are abusers are very good at making women look like the trouble makers - stick to your guns gals. These men are con artists- they go after your friends -
your parents - your children - they set you up - they will do anything to bring you down - they are sick control freaks who must be stopped. They are bullies -and if you let them- they will eventually kill you one way or the other - either by killing your spirit or blowing your head off.
This story is about three abused women and three abusive men. George finally took it far enough - not when her hammered his wife's head in but when he blew another man's wife's brains out - he is in jail and we have yet to find out what the plea bargain will be this time. Stay tuned!
The other two Frank and Tommy are running the streets, bullying and abusing the three of us still. Frank will gain his guardianship unopposed. Tommy showed his true colors.
Denise is fighting for her life but more than that - she needed to fight for her dignity and she needed to tell her story. Everyone blames her for keeping George or for enabling George and in the end for George shooting Lou. Denise would gladly trade places with Lou- as would I - but we cannot. What we can do is share this story and hope that we can point out what abuse looks like - From verbal abuse to emotional abuse to terrorizing to the extreme of physical abuse, and how women get caught in it at every level and how hard it is to escape it.
What we hope to do is shed light on it and say - never tolerate even the smallest abuse because it leads to larger abuses and may end in something like this. Nip it in the bud! Help other women to teach their daughters. If you are a mother teach your daughter never to tolerate abuse in any way. Please! If your mother - like mine asks "Don't you know when to stop" - when she says " maybe if you stop - he will stop " please say to your mother "NO Mom - that is how women wind up victims - it's because women eventually back down that men always bully them till they do."
Louisa is now in the hands of Tommy and Frank and I along with her father and step parents and grand parents may never be allowed to visit her. I suppose that must be for Louisa's good? She lays helpless in a bed 24/7 and 6 of her closest relatives who love her are banned from visiting her because Tommy and Frank are
using Louisa as a pawn! She was shot on 12/15/08 by George but since 1/23/09 her husband Frank Rodas and her brother Thomas Vitale Richardson continue to abuse her daily while she lay helpless to do anything about it!
My Louisa is just like Denise and me and she never backed down from any man. She may not have heard him enter but If Louisa texted her son and dialed Tommy then she eventually saw George - if she saw him then she saw the gun - when she saw the gun she did not run and hide- no not my girl - she was no Tommy - she stood
her ground. I'd like to think the last thing she said to George before he pulled that trigger was "Fuck You George!" In fact - we'd bet our live's on it.
If she knew what Frank and Tommy are doing to her and her son now - I guarantee you she would be furious- count on it! They would not have pulled what they pulled if they thought Louisa understood what they just did! You can't be doing this for Louisa Frank - she would never want you to do what you just did! No - you are using Louisa and I do not know how you sleep at night - this is not love Frank- love does not hurt - and you are hurting Louisa right now! God help you Frank your behavior to Louisa is heartless!